Срочно, нужен приличный короткий анекдот на английском. Кто поможет?

"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed.
Guest: I'll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood.

- What does a lion call an antelope?
- Fast food.

Из серии "тупых" анекдотов:
- I'm Bond. James Bond.
- And I'm Damme. Van Damme. Claude van Damme. Jean Claude van Damme.

Мой любимый - We are having your mother-in-law for dinner tonight
- I'd rather have chicken

Или ещё более короткий. Человек выходит из ресторана, и обращается к обслуживающему мальчику:
- Call me a cab.
- Sir, you are a cab

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.
++++++++++++++++

When is a woman above a man?

When the kitchen is upstairs!
+++++++++++++++++++++
What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50?

Your honor.

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.

in the opera house:
-the singer is awful!
-realy? it's my wife!
-oh, sorry. ithink it's not the singer i don't like, it's the music!
-and I am the composer of this opera!
=)

Two gentlemen take fish. One of them catches a mermaid, looks at her and throws her back into the water.
The other gentleman: But why?
The first one: But how?