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CHAIRS

The (1)… of the chairs is reserved for the chairman;

The (2)… is being kept for the next M. D.;

The (3)… is reserved for the Finance Director;

And the (4)… (I hope) is for me!

First plan

When I (5)… on the seven-o-one

With the chaps from the firm, we (6)… great fun.

We scan the old FT (Financial Times)

To check the (7)… interest rates

And how the market fluctuates

And where our funds should be.

And when we’ve filled in 3 Across

And made some jokes about the boss,

To universal glee,

We grab a cab at Charing Cross

And (8)… Potters Quay.

I’m the top fund manager at Pinchbecks –

To be frank, I’m a pretty big cheese;

I’m a whizz with unit trusts, and

I have got some plans for Dockland.

So everything (9)… like a breeze.

Second plan

When I (10)… Chairman, or M. D.,

I (11)… a really hostile bid

For Barclays or the TSB,

And match my rivals quid for quid.

And when they say, “He’s off his tree,”

I’ll do what all those big boys did,

And hit them with a left and right

That no one could foresee …

Actual plan

I thought it was all hunky-dory, (very good)

And I felt a most wonderful glow.

Then they said they were terribly sorry;

They (12)… to let me go.

I (13)… of turning consultant,

Or living in Paris, or Rome;

But at sixty does anyone want me?

I might as well sit here at home.

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