i’m 19 and i hate my life. Pls, help me! Я 19 и я ненавидите моя жизнь. Плс, помочь мне!

i hate my life, I don’t do good a school I always forget to do homework and I don’t really have any friends. My family hate me, seriously I would like to tell you what my mum says about me but there is to much its that bad, I haven’t cut myself but I will try it when im alone at home. There is too much in my mind, I no NO confidence and im seriously really shy, if someone talked to me I would just act that he are she isent there. I also think im gay, I like this guy in my class but I don’t think he is gay and I cant express my feelings to him because it will be awkward and I will get bullied more. Please Help, im so miserable and lonely :'(