Помогите с переводом письма по английскому)

Онлай переводчик поможет)))))

Dear Jessika,
I glad that at you soon birthday. I wish to wish you health, happiness, successes in all affairs. Birthday is a remarkable holiday. Therefore I want that you well have celebrated it. I know that you collect group disks Ranetki. So I have decided to send you this disk. I hope to you it very much to be pleasant. With the best regards.
Your girlfriend Julia.

dear jessika

I;m glad you will selebrate your birthday soon. I wish you be well, to reach a successe in all deals and affairs. Birthday is a wanderfull holliday. That's why I want you to selebrate it well. I know you are collecting Ranetky's disks. So I decided to send you this one. I hope you will enjoy it. Best regards....

эх давно не практиковалась

а переводчики дословно переводят и получается не всегда правильно. особенно предлоги и построение предложений.

Hi Jigurda,
I wanna fuck a dog in the ass. We wanna fuck a dog in the ass, we wanna fuck a dog. I tried to fuck your mum in the ass, I tried to fuck your dad in the ass, but I found a dog and it's ass.
You're fuckin bitch, your girlfriend Vazgen.

expensive Dzhesika, I pleased that beside you soon birth day. Want you to want health, happiness, success in all deal. The Birth day this remarkable holiday. So want that you well his(its) отпразновала. Know that you коллекционируешь disks of the group ранетки. So I have solved to send you this disk. I hope you he much likes. With best wishes, your girlfriend Whirligig