Нужно перевести текст на английский, текст внутри вопроса.

Question

"В Русской Сибири, там где снег лежит круглогодично, людей хоронят прямо в сугробах по обочинам дорог, а дети ходят в школу строем. Из-за сильных морозов им приходится каждый день на обед выпивать целый стакан спирта с самого детства. Россия весьма спокойная страна, однако, нередки случаи, когда организованные отряды медведей-террористов прорывались в города и захватывали важнейшие для жизнедеятельности предприятия, такие, как завод по производству матрёшек, балалаечная фабрика, ликёро-водочные заводы. Однако, роты русского спецназа всегда оперативно реагируют на это и отбрасывают медвежьи силы, по пути избивая невиновных и награждая медалями непричастных. Однако, такой подрыв промышленности страны отражается на её быте - людям приходится спускаться в свои ядерные бункеры и пить ракетное топливо вместо спирта. Это очень плохо, потому что у него недостаточно высокий градус и привкус кактусов.
Днём русские люди обычно занимаются подлёдной рыбалкой на озёрах, добычей нефти из своей личной скважины и шпионажем за своими соседями.
По вечерам русские люди сидят перед телевизором, через который ФСБ наблюдает за тем, как пустыми бутылками они избивают своих детей и жену. Иное поведение вызывает подозрения и много вопросов.
Крайне самобытна Сибирь. Так, народное блюдо «пельмени» , есть дань уважения усопшим: тесто символизирует гроб, а начинка — тело покойника.
На новый год русские (помесь медведя и человека) поджигают Кремль и, обнявшись с матрёшками с лицами Путина, водят вокруг него хороводы, распевая русские народные частушки и распивая спирт и ракетное топливо со вкусом кактусов.
Летом, когда температура в стране поднимается до -67 градусов по Цельсию, русские люди выращивают и солят огурцы. Если лето выдаётся неурожайным, русские люди расстраиваются, рвут на себе фуфайки и ушанки, надкусывают свои валенки и больше обычного пьют ракетное топливо и нефть.
Мы все рады, что родились в такой прекрасной стране. Извините, пришло время пить спирт и молиться Сталину, поэтому тут рассказ о нашей великой стране заканчивается. "

Сердар · Accepted Answer

In Russian Siberia, where there is snow all year round, people are buried directly in the drifts along the roadside, and the children go to school systems. Due to the severe frosts they have every day for lunch to drink a glass of alcohol from childhood. Russia is very peaceful country, however, there are cases when organized groups of bears terrorists broke into the city and captured the most important for the life of the enterprise, such as a plant for the production of dolls, balalaika factory, distillery. However, the Russian Spetsnaz company always promptly respond to it and discarded bearish forces, along the way beating the innocent and uninvolved awarding medals. However, such an undermining of the country's industry is reflected in her daily life - people have to go down to their nuclear bunkers and drink rocket fuel instead of alcohol. That's too bad, because he does not have a high degree of taste and cacti.
Day of Russian people usually engaged ice fishing on lakes, oil production from their personal wells and spying on their neighbors.
In the evening, the Russian people are sitting in front of TV, through which the FSB is watching as empty bottles, they beat their wife and children. Otherwise the behavior is suspicious, and a lot of questions.
Very distinctive Siberia. Thus, the national dish "pelmeni", is a tribute to the dead: the dough symbolizes the coffin, and filling - the dead body.
On New Year's Russian (a cross between a bear and a man) set fire to the Kremlin and embracing with Matryoshka persons Putin, drive around it dances, singing Russian folk ditties and by drinking alcohol and propellant tastefully cacti.
In the summer, when the temperature in the country rises to -67 degrees Celsius, the Russian people grow and salted cucumbers. If issued a lean summer, the Russian people are upset, tearing their singlets and earflaps, nadkusyvayut their boots and drink more than usual rocket fuel and oil.
We are all glad that you were born in such a beautiful country. Sorry, it's time to drink alcohol, and to pray to Stalin, so here the story of our great country ends.

Василий · Answer

In Russian Siberia, where there is snow all year round, people are buried directly in the drifts along the roadside, and the children go to school systems. Due to the severe frosts they have every day for lunch to drink a glass of alcohol from childhood. Russia is very peaceful country, however, there are cases when organized groups of bears terrorists broke into the city and captured the most important for the life of the enterprise, such as a plant for the production of dolls, balalaika factory, distillery. However, the Russian Spetsnaz company always promptly respond to it and discarded bearish forces, along the way beating the innocent and uninvolved awarding medals. However, such an undermining of the country's industry is reflected in her daily life - people have to go down to their nuclear bunkers and drink rocket fuel instead of alcohol. That's too bad, because he does not have a high degree of taste and cacti. 
Day of Russian people usually engaged ice fishing on lakes, oil production from their personal wells and spying on their neighbors. 
In the evening, the Russian people are sitting in front of TV, through which the FSB is watching as empty bottles, they beat their wife and children. Otherwise the behavior is suspicious, and a lot of questions. 
Very distinctive Siberia. Thus, the national dish "pelmeni", is a tribute to the dead: the dough symbolizes the coffin, and filling - the dead body. 
On New Year's Russian (a cross between a bear and a man) set fire to the Kremlin and embracing with Matryoshka persons Putin, drive around it dances, singing Russian folk ditties and by drinking alcohol and propellant tastefully cacti. 
In the summer, when the temperature in the country rises to -67 degrees Celsius, the Russian people grow and salted cucumbers. If issued a lean summer, the Russian people are upset, tearing their singlets and earflaps, nadkusyvayut their boots and drink more than usual rocket fuel and oil. 
We are all glad that you were born in such a beautiful country. Sorry, it's time to drink alcohol, and to pray to Stalin, so here the story of our great country ends.

Гриша · Answer

В психушку подвели интернет.

Деня · Answer

ахахаха че за бред? Кого просвещать собираешься?

Павел · Answer

Зачем на английский? Они умнее коклов не поверят. Ты на коклятский переведи и в укросми сдай, они от счастья тебя печенками на всю зиму одарят...

Сергей · Answer

всем лень самому переводить!