Помогите пожалуйсто перевести два текста на русский В ШУТОЧНОЙ ФОРМЕ!.( никак не получается:( ) Заранее огромное спасибо

b) What if Dr. Suess wrote a manual?
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

And your screen is all distorted by the side effect of Gauss,
So your icons in the windows are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM
your ROM
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom.

a) 0A programmers
0A young programmers began to work online,
One didn’t pay for Internet, and then there were 9.

9 young programmers used copies that they made,
But one was caught by FBI, and then there were 8.

8 young programmers discussed about heaven,
One said, “It’s Windows 95”, and then there were 7,

7 young programmers found bugs they want to fix,
But one was fixed by the bug, and then there were 6.

6 young programmers were testing the hard drive,
One got the string “Format complete”, and then there were 5

5 young programmers were running the Front Door,
The BBS of one was hacked, and then there were 4.

4 young programmers worked using only C,
One said some good about Pascal, and then there were 3.

3 young programmers didn’t know what to do,
One tried to call the on-line help, and then there were 2,

2 young programmers were testing what they done,
One got a virus in his brain, and then there was I.

1 young programmer was as mighty as a hero,
But tried to speak with user, and then there was 0.

Boss cried: “Oh, where is the program we must have?!”
And fired one programmer, and then there were FF.

(Наталья Астафьева попрошу вас не беспокоиться)