с точки зрения грамматики нормально написал сочинения? Или есть наигрубейшие ошибки?

I have a good relationship with my parents. But I would like to tell you about my friend. He had a problem with communication. He thought that his parents couldn't understand him. He said: “My mom doesn’t like my music and my friends. She doesn't approve of me having pocket money. My father doesn’t pay attention to me. He doesn’t trust me and always checks through my school diary. They make me do household chores. I don’t have time for my business. And I don't know, what I can do about it".

Есть, но не наигрубейшие... .
My relationship with my parents is good. But I can tell you about my friend. He had A problem with communication. He thinks that his parents don’t understand him. He said: “my mom doesn’t like my music and my friends (doesn't like either my music or my friends). She is against (any) pocket money. My father doesn’t pay attention to me. He doesn’t trust me and always checkS (IS ALWAYS CHECKING...) my school diary. They make me do (household) chores. I don’t have (any) time on my (personal) affairs. And I don't know WHAT I can do".

А вот исправленные ошибки лидера категории Сергея Петрова.

I have -- good relationship with my parents. But I would like to tell you about my friend. He had a problem with communication. He thought that his parents couldn't understand him. He said: “My Mom doesn’t like my music and my friends. She doesn't approve of me having pocket money. My father doesn’t pay attention to me. He doesn’t trust me and always checks -- my school diary. They make me do household chores. I don’t have time for my OWN AFFAIRS. And I don't know -- what I can do about THIS".

I have good relationship with my parents. But I would like to tell you about my friend. He had problem with communication. He thought that his parents couldn't understand him. He said: “my mom doesn’t like my music and my friends. She doesn't approve of giving me my pocket money. My father doesn’t pay attention to me. He doesn’t trust me and always check through my school diary. They make me do chores. I don’t have time for my business. And I don't know, what can I do".