Лингвистика

Помогите, плиз, с текстом сопров. письма. Прошу указать на стилистические/грамматические ошибки. Dear Employer: In a

письма. Прошу указать на стилистические/грамматические ошибки.

Dear Employer:

In a response to your job offer which I found on wow-europe.com, please examine my candidature. I'm interested in a Assistant Community Manager position. I'm sure my skills and knowledge will allow me to perform on duty properly. Eighter I'm interested in game development, so in the future I want to gather professional designers education and continue my work in Blizzard Entertainment as web/game designer.

My first World of Warcraft experience was about three years ago. I had no chance to play 'official' WoW because my parents said that they would never pay for a computer game. So I found the only (at that time) Latvian 'free' WoW server end started my journey in a lands of Azeroth. A few month later I decided to create my own WoW server using WoWEMU emulator. My server was quite popular for more than half a year. I'm sure that i have a proper knowledge of game-mechanics. Unfortunately, because of need to continue studying I was obliged to stop updating my server.

In 2007, when I started to work I had some free money, so I bought original World of Warcraft box. I also had two class mates that joined me, so we started to level our characters together.

In 2008, few weeks before Wrath of the Lich King should be released, Russian WoW-fan site ### announced a competition 'Think out new World of Warcraft race'. I decided to take part in this competition. ### administration estimated my work and gave me 3rd place. I won World of Warcraft: WoTLK expansion key. Here's a link to my post: ###.

I gained a good experience in communication with customers while I was working as a shop assistant, also while working directly with customers as a rigger in IT company.

At the moment i have two 80 level characters (### and ###), one 74 level character (### - my main before WoTLK had been released), a 54 level priest (###) and a few low level twinks. When gates of Ulduar opened, my guild decided that me should be the first person in guild that should receive Val'anyr, Hammer of the Ancient Kings. The funny thing is that I'm a new person in this guild, and this people don't know me at all. However, they believed me.

I hope that this letter is not to long. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

###.
интересно, кто те за бесплатно будет голову ломать..
Елена Лаврова
Елена Лаврова
18 859
Лучший ответ
Их слишком много для бесплатного редактирования, как и сказали ранее.
Начните прямо с первого предложения, оно бессвязно и противоречит само себе.
PS: советую либо отправлять как есть, либо забить, т. к. одним из условий приема на работу у Близзов является беглый английский
Петр Кузьмин
Петр Кузьмин
83 217
I hope that this letter is not to long. - not SO long или еще лучше not so huge или еще лучше выкинь вообще это предложение, мне кажется, оно лишнее.. . В целом все верно, очень занимательная автобиография))
Алексей Дыбань
Алексей Дыбань
22 121
1. v oficialnoy perepiske nikogda nelzya pisat sokrashenie tipa "i'm" ili "here's"...
2. v obrashenii, esli ne znaete imya i pol chelovek, to "dear sir/madam". i v konce "yours faithfully", esli ne znaete imeni, a esli znaete, to "yours sincerely"...
3. a few monthS later, u vas netu s na konce...
4. I would like to apply for the vacancy advertised on....
5. and vmesto end vo vtorom abzace.
6. vmesto "so" vo vtorom abzace "thus".
7. through the lands of....

i eshe kucha vsego... vashe pismo ochen dlinnoe. esli ono vam na samom dele dlya raboty, to ukorotie ego. ochen dlinnye pisma nikto chitat ne budet. na eto u ludey net vremeni i im eto ne interesno. vsu neobhodimuyu info o vashem obrazovanii i opyte oni naydut v vashey biografii v lubom sluchae. slishkom mnogo lichnyh nenuzhnyh detaley i podrobnostey o vashey zhizni...
Олег Кушпит
Олег Кушпит
1 729