Пожалуйста, посморите, правильно ли составлен текст на английском про вечеринку в Нью-Йорке (это описание картинки)

Question

The theme party "Sad Titanic" was happening at midnight
yesterday. Guests were not standing on the ships they were dancing in the big
black bathtub Titanic. The musical group were playing blues at the party. Musicians were
playing different instruments such as guitar, accordion, violin and their
conductor was working. When guests have a rest, two waiters were serving these
people. One of them was giving a dessert while waiter was serving champagne.
Many people were dancing to sad music. They were not talking with each other
and were feeling really miserable and frustrated. It was close and stuffy at
the party. The man in the foreground was thinking about going to Russia when
other man went to sleep. It appears he always sleeps after a dinner. This party
caused many critical and negative responses and it called as the most boring
party in New York. The same
party is happening to Chicago this Friday.

Юлия Кривоногова · Accepted Answer

Можно было бы использовать Past Simple.

The theme party "Sad Titanic" was TAKING PLACE at midnight
yesterday. Guests were not standing on the DECK OF THE shipX, they were dancing in the big black bathtub Titanic. The BAND were playing blues at the party. THE Musicians were playing different instruments such as A guitar, AN accordion, A violin and their conductor was DIRECTING THEIR PLAYING.. WhILE SOME guests WERE HAVING a rest, two waiters were serving theM. One of them was giving a dessert while ANOTHER waiter was serving champagne. Many people were dancing to sad music. They were not talking TO each other and XXXX feLT really miserable and frustrated. THE PARTY was CROWDED AND IT WAS stuffy THERE . The man in the foreground was thinking about going to Russia while ANother man FELL Asleep. It appears he always sleeps after X dinner. This party HAS caused many critical and negative responses and IS called XX the most boring party in New York. The same
party is TAKING PLACE IN Chicago this Friday.