Please can you check my composition about TV . thanks everybody

Television may be dangerous I think because it has to a certain extent destroyed traditional family lifestyles and personal communications. Some people say it is absorbing too much of personal time and space too, so that people have no more time to talk to each other. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Television has become an integral part of our life. Nowadays almost every family has got a TV set, especially in the developed countries. Moreover, even children nowadays have their personal TV set in their rooms. This is a great disadvantage, as by watching TV one is spending precious time he or she could have for family and friends.
I cannot fully agree that television only is to be blamed for replacing real communication between people, and thus being harmful to the community.
To my mind, everything depends on human nature. No doubt, that since TV has become so popular people began communicating less but I am sure that the key reason is not television itself, but our unwillingness to take interest in other people and build real life relationships.
Certainly, some people are so much engrossed in watching TV without noticing what is going around, that it looks scary.
From my firsthand experience,TV may indeed have an impact on relations between people. For example, when I was visiting one developing country where not so many families are able to buy a TV set, I was lucky enough to visit a family who had no TV and as a result, they spend almost every evening together. Just imagine, after dinner all members of the family were drinking tea and at the same time they were discussing their daily life events and current political news. As for my family after dinner we simply turn on our telly and stare at the monitor till it`s time to sleep. I have to admit that we often don't even speak to each other much because we are simply busy, or rather find it convenient being busy watching TV.
To sum up, I reckon that television alone cannot not be blamed for destructing family relationships and communication. Still, television has become an important part of human life.

привет. некоторые, что заметил :

1) Some people saYS that it absorbS people’s time too much

2) Television haS become an integral part of people's livING

3) in the western COUNTRIES

4) lack of time - без артикля a

5) be harmful . не нужна красная строка
From my standpoin

6)To other people