Please check my composition in English about fitness centre Thank you everybody for your help

30 May (Abu Dhabi)
Task 1: Write a letter to the sports center manager complaining about some problems you face when you go to his sports center.

Dear Mr. Black,

I have been a regular customer of your centre for several years. I would like to thank you for your service and have to admit that THE personnel of your centre are attentive and obliging. (ЗАМЕНИТЕ! ) All the sports machines HAVE BEEN in perfect condition lately.

Unfortunately, there have been some shortfalls in the service of your centre connected with exercise machine at THE present moment. First of all, I want to draw your attention ( ЗАМЕНИТЕ) that three exercise bikes have been in order since September. ( НАРУШЕНИЕ СМЫСЛА)

According to the announcement on the boarding ( АРТИКЛЬ) customers were clearly promised to enjoy riding on exercise bikes on the fifth of September. Four weeks have elapsed (ЗАМЕНИТЬ) so far but no exercise bikes have appeared instead of old ones. Secondly, АРТИКЛЬ! coach trained me quit ( ГРАММАТИКА) the job and I was told that I will ( СОГЛАСОВАНИЕ) have a new one during my nest ( ОШИБКА) visit and still I am working out on my own.

I would like all these problems to be solved as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely,

Bred Pitt

Увы. Слишком ошибок разного плана. Проще написать заново, чем исправлять это сочинение. Если бы мне мои студенты принесли нечто подобное, я бы не приняла такое.

out of order - не работают. А у Вас чего? вообще, ломает читать и исправлять, слишком много ошибок. наверное, скорее бы перевели по кускам, и не с безобразного "английского" - то есть дословного перевода с русского, а просто если б по русски написали, чего хотите сказать.