Лингвистика

Please check my composition in English about books Thank you everybody for your help

4. Some people said the age of books is past. The information will be presented by video, computers, televisions, films. Others think the books and the written words will be necessary for spread information and complete education. Discuss.
We live in the area of technology where there is the internet, mobile communication, and other electronic devices such as e-book, players, flash drives etc. which make our lives indeed much easier. No wonder that more and more people prefer using E-books which have become quite popular recently. Certainly, there are more considerable advantages by using electronic devices than printed books. First of all, it is ecologically-conscious as by using e-books which can replace even hundred of books deforestation is being reduced greatly. Secondly, a lot of books can be kept in a thin device. Thirdly, it is much cheaper so one can economize a lot of books.
From my firsthand experience, I would rather use e-books instead of printed books or computers instead of writing. For example, 15 years ago when there were no electronic dictionaries it was time -consuming to look up any word, moreover, I had to write down them in a copybook in order to create wordlists for my studying English and several times I lost my copybooks with wordlists and it was impossible to restore them. Now when I am lucky to have dictionaries on my computer. It takes me few seconds to look up a word plus I can create my own wordlist which I quite safe in my computer.
To sum up, I strongly believe that in several years there will be no need of having books and write down information. There are already computers which when heard something type it itself without human involvement all that a owner of such a computer do is to turn on a computer and press a button. However scientists claim that writing develop fine motor skills which are important in learning and even in life.
Светлана Волкова
Светлана Волкова
751
Я так понимаю, что вы пишите сочинение в формате сочинения ЕГЭ по английскому. Во-первых, я вам просто от себя посоветую, есть такая штучка) - 50 тем по английскому-сочинениям. вот, оттуда сочинение на эту тему:

The latest advances in information technology make people think that schools of the future will use computers instead of printed books. Although electronic books have not been widely accepted yet, they have certain advantages over traditional paper volumes. But will they be able to replace printed books?
In my opinion, students will be widely using computers for studying in the future. To begin with, computers can store lots of books in their memory and modern software allows us to find quickly the necessary information. Besides, with the interactive programmes on computers studying will be much more exciting. What is more, electronic books will not degrade overtime like their printed counterparts.
On the other hand, lots of disbelievers argue that computers will not replace printed books because a printed book is better for human eyes than a computer screen. In addition, books are cheaper and easier to use since they do not need electricity or the Internet connection. I cannot agree with this because modern computer screens emit no radiation and allow us to read even in low light conditions. Of course we will have to pay for electricity but I think it will be cheaper than to pay for printed books, which are very expensive nowadays.
To sum up, I think computers and printed books will peace¬fully coexist for years to come, but in the future technological progress will make it possible for students to carry laptops or even palmtops instead of traditional bags with lots of heavy books.
можете воспользоваться)
ЧТО КАСАЕМО вашего сочинения:
1)у вас некорректное абзацное членение, а за это снимаются баллы - глупо терять их на таких вещах) я так понимаю, выделение проблемы у вас заканчивается вот здесь: . -значит дальше с нового абзаца-your point of view
2) сама проблема выделена не совсем правильно -а если эксперт действительно так посчитает, то за всё сочинение ставится сразу 0. у вас всё замечательно, но сам вопрос: могут ли книги быть заменены электроникой- не поставлен! т. е. вместо Certainly, there are more considerable advantages by using electronic devices than printed books следует поставить But will they be able to replace printed books?
2) у вас выделен только один аспект из основной части - ваша точка зрения с аргументами, а где же противоположное мнение, 2 аргумента к нему, а потом уже - почему вы с ним не согласны? ?
3)заключение по смыслу хорошее
4)но у вас там явно присутствуют ошибки
Вывод: вы явно не знаете алгоритма написания такого сочинения: What is your opinion? Do you agree with this statement?
Write 200–250 words.
Use the following plan:
− make an introduction (state the problem)
− express your personal opinion and give 2–3 reasons for your opinion
− express an opposing opinion and give 1–2 reasons for this opposing
opinion
− explain why you don’t agree with the opposing opinion
− make a conclusion restating your position
Виталий Жданов
Виталий Жданов
420
Лучший ответ
Олег молодец))
ЮС
Юля С
70

Похожие вопросы