МК
Марина Кончакова

Для знатоков английского. Проверьте, пожалуйста, эссе.

Добрый день. Помогите, пожалуйста, проверить текст.

Тема (проблематика) : Many people are sure that career is the most important thing: if your career is successful, you are happy in your life. What do you think is more important, family or work? (Многие люди уверены, что карьера - наиважнейшая вещь: если Ваша карьера успешна, то Вы счастливы в жизни. Как Вы думаете, что важнее, семья или работа? )

Nowadays, many people believe that a career is the most important thing in life. When a person is successful in his career, he is happy in life. As for me, I partially agree with this opinion. However, contemporary people are often forced to choose between career and family life. To my mind, the best way is to combine your career and private life.

One the one hand, some people cannot find a better way to spend their time than with their family. I think there are a number of reasons. The first reason I want to mention is that being in the company of family can make people both relaxed and contented. If their family supports them as well as advises them, they cannot only feel better but also come up with some solutions to their work problems. Family is the only place where you can return to and rest after the day of working hard. Secondly, family is the most important factor that contributes to shape your personality. Above all, your family will show you the way to react to every matter in real life, which you will read in no book. Thirdly, having much money and being successful doesn't mean happiness. It is scary and painful to live alone and to grow old without seeing their grandchildren in the end.

On the other hand, others believe that people should contribute their extra time to working. Firstly, people should learn independence, so that they are able to take care of herself and her child. A successful career brings a lot of money. When a person has sufficient means of subsistence, he can buy clothes, food, medicines. Money is vital for the people. They help people buy the necessary things. Secondly, successful work gives a person a good status in society. Thirdly, career gives a person a sense of freedom. People who earn money themselves, they do not depend on anyone. They build a life on their own.

As for me, I think that everybody must combine in their lives their families and their careers. Even though sometimes it is hard to realize this.

На
Настя

хорошее эссе.. . но выводы о том, что без карьеры нет жизни это признак плохой страны, такой как рээфия, где рабство существует сейчас во всей красе! а чиновники этого не признают, и в этом их хамство и цинизм...

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