Лингвистика

Egnlish. Нужно проверить рассказ на ошибки. Работала без всяких гуглов-переводчиков! Спасибо!

Having hid from chase two thieves decided to share their prey.

They sat down on abandoned grave at an old cemetery. It was the evening time.

They seem to have shared the prey equally but there was a disaster - the last coin.

One of them shouted: "It's my coin! I fought better than you!"

The second thief answered: "No way. What did you do without my advices?"

- Give me the coin otherwise I will be angry.

- I don't care, I'm not afraid of your anger.

- But It was me who has done all the deed.

- Without my advices you couldn't do one step.

- I was nimbler, it means the coin belong to me.

- I won't let you to become richer than me.

- I'll grab your throat and tear you apart.

- I'll hit you with my stick and pick up all your money.

- What will we do with this coin? How will we share it?

- Let's give it to deads.

- Fine. So be that.

And a dead clanking his bones suddenly got up from his grave:

"You've irritated me with your strife! You really annoyed me!"

The thieves took a look at each other in a jiffy and ran away.

And the dead took all their prey with him to his grave.

И поставить оценку за грамотность по 5 бальной школьной шкале!
Лексические ошибки, неуместные словоупотребления.
Prey - это добыча или жертва в биологическом смысле, как заяц - добыча волка. Loot, наверное, имеется в виду.
Look in a jiffy не бывает.
Otherwise слишком книжное слово для разговора. Почему не or?
Share значит не делить, а делиться в смысле иметь в совместном пользовании.

The dead(s) убивают.. . A dead нельзя сказать. The dead - мертвецы собирательно. Сколько их там?
Артиклей не хватает. They sat down on AN abandoned grave.

Грамматика, конечно... what would you have done without my advice.
So be it.

Для неподготовленного человека фраза And the dead took all THEIR prey with HIM to his grave - это просто вынос мозга.

Исправлять этот текст - пахать не перепахать.
Евгений Горбунов
Евгений Горбунов
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опять двойка
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Mhr Szgn
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Станислав Трошин Опять безосновательное гавканье или есть конкретные примеры, ну, кроме того, что я случайно не дописала "den" на конце "hid"?
разбейте текст на подтексы-очень большой объем!
Станислав Трошин Having hidden from chase two thieves decided to share their prey.They sat down on an abandoned grave at an old cemetery. It was evening time.They seem to have shared the prey equally but there was a disaster - the last coin.
Станислав Трошин One of them shouted: "It's my coin! I fought better than you!"
The second thief answered: "No way. What would you do without my advices?"




Спасибо!
Having hidden (не hid) from chase two thieves decided to share their prey.
They sat down on abandoned grave at an old cemetery.
It was (без the) evening time.
One of them shouted: "It's my coin! I fought better than you!"
The second thief answered: "No way. What would (не did) you do without my advices?"
- Give me the coin otherwise I will be angry.
- I don't care, I'm not afraid of your anger.
- But It was me who had (вместо has) done all the deed.
- Without my advices you couldn't do one step.
- I was nimbler, it means the coin belong to me.
- I won't let you to become richer than me.
- I'll grab your throat and tear you apart.
- I'll hit you with my stick and pick up all your money.
- What will we do with this coin? How will we share it?
- Let's give it to (the) deads.
- Fine. So be that.
And a dead clanking his bones suddenly got up from his grave:
"You've irritated me with your strife! You really annoyed me!"
The thieves took a look at each other in a jiffy and ran away.
And the dead took all their prey with him to his grave.
Но я не уверен, может кто лучше подскажет. Я делетант в этом)
Станислав Трошин "But It was me who had (вместо has) done all the deed."
Тоже думала над этим местом, но считаю, что правильно все-таки "has". Ведь тут не отмечается что действие произошло за каким-то действием, а результат действия "на лицо".

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