Прошу проверить сочинение по английскому на ошибки)

Good morning! I think you know my name and surname, but nevertheless (1) I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE MYSELF. My name is Maria and my surname is (2) FYodorova (буква ё передаётся сочетанием английских букв yo). I'm seventeen years old. My family is wonderful. I have both parents, three sisters and a cat, (3)because of this I can't be sad. (that's why I'm never sad) I have (4) all of necessary (всё необходимое - the necessary things; everything required / necessary; We have everything necessary. — У нас есть все необходимое. (пример из Лингво, кстати) Поэтому - I have everything necessary) and even a little more.I really like to learn. Not only (5) AT school, but also at home. (Лучше объединить в одно предложение - I really like to learn - both at school and at home) I like (6)TO learn to play (7) THE guitar (музыкальные инструменты идут с определённым артиклем) , draw and make origami. (8) Although most of my time I spend in reading interesting books.(порядок слов! Although I spend most of my time in reading interesting books.) When I was a child, I wanted (9) TO become a writer, but now my plans for (10) THE future (11) HAVE really changed. (12) But about plans I will tell a bit later. (Порядок слов! - But I will tell you about my plans a bit later.) Now LET ME TELL YOU about MY interests. I'm interested not only in playing THE guitar, reading, drawing but also in people. I like to watch their behavior (запятая здесь в английском не нужна) trying to understand their true feelings and reasons for their actions. I know that all people are wonderful, but some of them try to hide it... and I don't understand why...I perfectly remember one day of/from my (13)liFe, it was my birthday, (14) ON that day I received the best present in my liFe! Chocolate. Of course,...(15) maybe (это вводное слово пишется слитно) it is funny but it is true. Chocolate...it was the most sincere gift in my liFe. My friend (16) GAVE me that chocolate... the friend who later left me. But then...I understood how bad I (17) WAS (согласование! ) . Then I (18) understood (Past Simple нужен) that I WAS not worthy of that gift. I remembered how many bad things I had (19) DONE. And just then I wanted to change myself. Gradually I understood how wonderful our life is.(здесь можно не согласовывать времена) I suddenly noticed that people around me ARE (WERE) very nice and kind...and sad. Now let's turn to my plans for the future. I want to become good, I want to learn to give joy (20) TO people around me. I want to learn (21) TO always smile. I want to my heart (лучше взять глагол yearn) TO become clean without any evil. I want (22) TO devote ALL MY LIFE TO other people but not TO myself. (порядок слов) That's all. Thanks for your (23) atTention.

:)