Лингвистика

Помогите! подскажите какие ошибки допущены при переводе

Одна из легенд повествует о том, что дом был построен Городецким в память о его красавице-дочери, утонувшей где-то в Средиземном море, а возможно, даже в озере Чад...(По другой версии были две дочери, которые утонули в один день в водах Днепра.) Потому-то будто бы и появились на крыше наяды и дельфины, а интерьер населен обитателями подводного мира. Однако известно, что Елена Городецкая счастливо вышла замуж и пережила отца на несколько десятилетий. Говорили, что этот дом Городецкий построен в память о своей умершей от чахотки жены Корнелии Марр.

One of the legends narrates that the house was built by Gorodetsky in memory of his beautiful daughter, who drowned somewhere in the Mediterranean Sea and perhaps even in the Lake Chad...(According to another version he had two daughters, who drowned in one day in the waters of the Dnieper.) That is why there appeared naiads and dolphins on the roof and the inhabitants of the underwater world inhabit the interior. However, we know that Elena Gorodetskaya happily married and she survived his father for several decades. People said that this house Gorodetsky built in memory of his wife Cornelia Marr, who died from tuberculosis.
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Ксюшка Мальцева
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The legend goes that he house was built/commissioned(не сам же он его возводил )in memory of his beautiful daughter who drowned somewhere in the Mediterranean or, perhaps, Lake Chad. Another version has it that he had in fact two daughters who both drowned on the same day in the waters of the D. Which explains the naiads and dolphins on the roof and other underwater fauna in the interior decor. However, we know that Elena G. was happily married and survived her father by several decades. It was rumoured that G. had the house built in memory of his late wife Cornelia Marr who died of consumption.
Valeriya *
Valeriya *
76 429
Лучший ответ
В целом, очень хорошо. Парочку мест я бы изменил.

1) Вместо narrates я бы сказал просто says. Narrate предполагает наличие рассказчика.
2) Allegedly that is why naiads and dolphins appeared on the roof... Allegedly я добавил, чтобы перевести "будто бы".
3) and survived his father BY several decades
4) People said that Gorodetsky built this house
5) who died of tuberculosis
Танюша Чайка
Танюша Чайка
43 607
One of the legends narrates that the house was built by Gorodetsky in memory of his beautiful daughter, who had drowned somewhere in the Mediterranean Sea and perhaps even in Lake Chad...(According to another version he had two daughters, who drowned on one day in the waters of the Dnieper.) That is why perhaps naiads and dolphins appeared on the roof and inhabitants of the underwater world inhabit the interior. However, we know that Elena Gorodetskaya was married happily and she survived her father for several decades. People said that Gorodetsky built this house in memory of his wife Cornelia Marr, who died from tuberculosis.
Как-то так.. .Может, я неправа...
Людмила Мальченкова
Людмила Мальченкова
2 039

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