Лингвистика

Друзья! Помогите проверить правильность перевода, кто шарит в английском

Вот сам текст:
Однажды я услышал резкие звуки.
Я был очень удивлен, я отправился в то место, где я услышал эти звуки.
Это было темное место. Там я увидел мужчину. Он подошел ко мне, и он нагрубил мне.
Я был подавлен, так как этот мужчина слишком нагрубил мне.
И я сделал неожиданный удар, после убежал проч.
Я пошел охотится на оленей, и добиваться справедливости.
Я был очень храбрый.
Мои поступки были внезакона.
Вопреки закону о животных я охотился на оленей.
Но олени сопротивлялись, потому что они хотели жить.
Я был вынужден убить их, потому что мне нужна была шкура оленя,
между прочим я должен был спасать свою шкуру.
Я бродяжничал среди леса и грабил эти места.

Вот перевод:
Once upon a time I was hearing rude sounds.
I was very surprised, I went to the place, where I heared this souds.
It was dark place. There I see the men. He came to me and he was rude to me.
I was broked, because that men was too rude to me.
And I did rude shock, after run away.
I went to hunt deer, and hunt for justice.
I was very daring.
My action was outlaws.
Against law about animals I hunt deer.
But deer standed against, because they want to live.
I forced to kill its, because I need deep's hide,
among other things I must saved one's hide.
I roaming among forest and robbing this places.\

Где ошибки?)
М-да, ничего себе сказал я себе...: -)

Once (upon a time - больше к сказкам относится) I HEARD HARSH sounds.
I was very surprised, I went to the place, where I HAD HEARD THESE souNds.
It was A dark place. I SAW A mAn THERE. He came UP to me and he was rude to me.
I was DOWN, because that mAn was too rude to me.
THEN I KICKED (KNOCKED) SUDDENLY) AND rAn away AFTER THAT.
I went TO HUNTER deer and STRUGGLE for justice.
I was very BRAVE (COURAGEOUS; daring).
My actionS WERE BEYOND THE LAW.
DESPITE THE WORLD LIFE PROTECTION LAW, I HUNTED THE deer.
But deer OPPOSED (FOUGHT AGAINST), because they wantED to live.
I WAS forced to kill (I HAD TO KILL THEM) THEM, because I needED A deeR's SKIN,
BY THE WAY, I must SAVE MY NECK (SAVE hide.)
I WAS VAGABONDING (TRAMPING) ALONG (IN THE) THE forest and robbing THESE places.
Юлия Бойчук
Юлия Бойчук
40 421
Лучший ответ
"Against law about animals I hunt deer."
against law должно быть после всех слов в предложении, в конце.
Sailau Tastenov
Sailau Tastenov
18 304
It was a !!!( неопред. артикль - первое упом-ние о месте ) dark place.
There I saw ( прошедш. время ) а!! ! ( первое упом-ние о чел-ке ) man.
...
My acts ( мн. число) were...
Contrary to the law on animals I hunted ( прошедшее время) on deer.
But deer resisted, because they wished ( прошедшее!! ! ) to live.
I have been compelled to kill them because the skin of a deer was necessary to me,
By the way I should rescue the skin.
I was on the tramp among wood and plundered these places.

Предлагаю мой перевод:

Once I have heard sharp sounds.
I have been very surprised, I have gone to that place where I have heard these sounds.
It was a dark place. There I have seen the man. It has approached to me, and he has insulted me.
I have been suppressed, as this man has too insulted me.
And I have made unexpected blow, after have escaped проч.
I have gone hunts on deer, and to achieve justice.
I was very brave.
My acts were the extralaw.
Contrary to the law on animals I hunted on deer.
But deer resisted, because they wished to live.
I have been compelled to kill them because the skin of a deer was necessary to me,
By the way I should rescue the skin.
I was on the tramp among wood and plundered these places.
Точно, перевод корявый, да и у девушки Анжелики почему-то в роли видо-временной формы Present Perfect фигурирует, а это не есть правильно.
Olga Meister
Olga Meister
2 039
thESE* sounds

__
и блин, тут по мелочи все коряво. артикли пропущены и например не "men" a "man"
Татьяна
Татьяна
1 027
в 1 строке не резкий а грубый
ZO
Zaika Omel'chenko
870
всё правильно
кроме 5ой снизу строчки
I hunt deer against law about animals

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