Лингвистика

Правильный ли перевод с русского на английский? Какие ошибки? (Случай на мосту ч. 2)

Один из полисменов уже вытаскивал наручники. Но в эту минуту вор вскочил на перила моста и прыгнул в воду. Когда толпа пришла в себя от удивления, вор уже был далеко, полицейские бежали вдоль берега, а парень, у которого украли деньги, спрыгнув в маленькую лодку, стоявшую поблизости, греб по направлению к вору. И вдруг лодка опрокинулась. Послышался громкий крик. Парень пытался ухватиться за лодку, но ему это не удавалось сделать. Он тонул.
Вор сначала продолжал плыть, ничего не видя и не слыша. Наконец крики привлекли его внимание. Он оглянулся и сразу понял, что произошло. Он колебался лишь мгновение. Быстро повернув, он поплыл к утопающему.. .
Вскоре и вор, и спасенный им владелец кошелька были на берегу. Придя в себя, парень, все еще дрожащий от холода, подошел к вору и пожал ему руку. Но тут к ним подскочил маленький репортер. Это была великая минута в его жизни; он, наверное, ждал ее долгие годы. Узнав имя и фамилию владельца кошелька, а также и то, что в кошельке было всего пять фунтов, он повернулся к вору. "Ваша фамилия Инглс? Знаменитый прыгун с вышки? "

One of the policemen were already taking out handcuffs. But at that minute the thief jumped on the railings and dived into the water. When everybody around recovered from amazement, the thief was already far away. The policemen were running along
the bank, and the boy who had been stolen jumped down to a small boat that were close by and rowed towards the thief. Suddenly the boat overturned. A loud cry was heard. The lad was trying to catch at the boat, but without success. He was drowning.
At first the thief kept on swimming with all his strength seeing and hearing nothing. At last the cries attracted his attention. He turned back and realized at once what happened. He hesitated only a moment. On turning quickly, he swam to the drowning.
Soon both the thief and the wallet owner saved by him were on the bank. On coming to himself, the fellow still trembling with cold came up to the thief and shook him by the hand. At that moment the short reporter ran up to them. It was a great minute in his life. He had probably waited for it for long years. Having found out the name and surname of the wallet owner and that there were only five pounds in the wallet as well, he turned back to the thief. "Is your surname Inglls? The famous diver?"
One of the policemen was already taking out handcuffs. But at that (very) minute the thief jumped on the railings and dived into the water. When everybody around recovered from amazement, the thief was already far away. The policemen were running along the bank, and the boy who had been robbed/mugged jumped into a small boat (that was) close by and rowed towards the thief. Suddenly the boat overturned. A loud cry was heard. The lad was trying/struggled to get hold of the boat, but without success/to no avail. He was drowning.
At first the thief who kept on swimming with all his strength/might saw and heard nothing. At last the cries attracted his attention. He turned back and realized at once what happened. He hesitated for only a moment/a split second. On turning quickly(He quickly turned back and), he swam to the drowning.
Soon both the thief and the wallet owner saved/rescued by him were on the bank. On coming to himself, the fellow came up to the thief still trembling with cold and shook his hand. At that moment the short reporter ran up to them. It was the (great) moment in his life he had probably waited/been waiting for years. Having found out the name and surname of the wallet owner and that there were only five pounds in the wallet, he turned back to the thief. "Are you Inglls the diver?"Или You must be Inglls the diver (the снимает необходимость в famous, оно и так значит - тот самый, знаменитый)

Предложения в исходном тексте громоздкие, много причастных оборотов (наверное, тема такая) . Проблема в том, что при переводе русские причастия не всегда хорошо ложатся на английскую структуру предложения. Распространенный оборот лучше поставить после определяемого слова, а если описывается последовательность действий, иногда и передать причастие личной формой, например, он плыл, ничего не видя и не слыша - он плыл и ничего не видел и не слышал, криминала нет.
Артём Play
Артём Play
92 375
Лучший ответ
Сколь бы искусным ныряльщиком не был Инглис, прежде чем нырнуть в воду (to dive into the water), он сначала должен был прыгнуть в воду с высоких перил моста. Спортсмены тоже с вышки прыгают в воду, хотя в итоге и они ныряют.
у которого украли деньги, - который был обворован.
Ke
Keisha
1 052
One of the policemen was already taking out handcuffs. But at that minute the thief jumped on the railings and dived into the water. When everybody around recovered from amazement, the thief was already far away. The policemen were running along the bank, and the boy whose money was stolen, jumped down on a small boat that was nearby and rowed towards the thief. Suddenly the boat overturned. A loud cry was heard. The boy was trying to get on the boat, but without any success. He was drowning.
At first the thief kept on swimming with all his strength seeing and hearing nothing. At last the cries attracted his attention. He turned back and realized at once what had happened. He hesitated only a moment. Turning back quickly, he swam to the drowning man.
Soon both the thief and the wallet owner saved by him were on the bank. On coming to himself, the boy still trembling with cold came up to the thief and shook him by the hand. At that moment the short reporter ran up to them. It was a great minute in his life. He had probably waited for it for long years. Having found out the name and the surname of the wallet owner and that there were only five pounds in the wallet as well, he turned back to the thief. "Is your surname Inglls? Are you a famous diver?"
OZ
Osman Zandarov
276